Saturday, May 31, 2008

Going Postal, IT Executives, and the Home Offices

[Note, 12/8/2008: due to popular demand, all internet treadmill walk-station/work-station/desk-station posts have been moved the the following blog, ]

Hello, my name is Crockett Dunn. I own a company called Crockett Dunn, LLC.

CDLLC was born around the time my business partner at Gold Zeppelin, Eric David, was had the good fortune of landing a sweet gig at MySpace. So we each took our respective accounts, and I gave birth to (actually a more apt metaphor would be to say that I'm still pregnant with, but the contractions are getting closer together and I'm about to go in for a scheduled induction). [my wife is an OBGYN].

Since late 1994, I've owned one internet business or another for14 years now, with some side ventures along the way.

Oh yes.... there is one very important point that you, the reader understand, to fully appreciate this post:

Hi. My name is Crockett, and I am a workaholic. ("hi crockett")

Yesterday around lunch time (which I never take off), the doorbell rang as I was actually checking my blood pressure to ensure I survive my current business growth spurt.

I shout, "I'll be right there." While noting the slightly high BP reading, I quickly triage and delegate 3 tasks that landed on my windows mobile phone, and run downstairs.

On the way downstairs, the red-phone rings so I tell the guys at the network operations center to take specific decisive action. Apparently another call had been rolled over to my reception while the red-phone rang, so I received another blip on my windows mobile device. "not urgent... HOORAY!"

Between the stairs and the door, the office direct line rings (in my pocket), and one of my support guys tells me a client that is currently beating the hell out of him verbally, without allowing him to help. The issue the client needed education on was the concept of the INSERT key, and how this is completely a function of a client computer and does not in any way relate to a change made to their web-based applications or hosted software service.

3/4 to the door, the mobile phone gets an SMS indicating some suspicious activity having been blocked by the firewall- I quickly forward this to the NOC, too.

I open the door, in my flip flops and non-client-site clothes, and the mailman, in a very cheerful, relaxed, mellow-California voices says, "Soooo.... You're not working today??"

Naturally, I immediately punched him in the face knocking him instantly earth-parallel-unconscious, removed the delivery from his limp hands, signed the appropriate documentation, and inserted it into his breast pocket, closed and locked the door, and returned to work, on the treadmill workstation.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

the, COOLEST thing happened today

Sent with my voice via Jott:

The, coolest thing happened today.
Ok, I assume many of us have experienced the disappointment of leaving our beverage on top of our car, and driving off only to have it fall over onto the road, leaving us sad, having to to continue our journey sans refreshing beverage.
Well... today rushing out the door to serve my clients (I LOVE YOU CLIENTS), I left my refreshing & delicious diet coke beverage on my car and zipped out the driveway on my way to streamline business systems via intranet/web-based applications.
And then, 3 miles inot my journey, I realized I had left it there. Oh, the sadness that filled my heart! But wait! I have a sun roof! I opened the shade, (not the glass), and my refreshing (well, my caffeine fix, really) beverage was right above me, held in place by my cargo bars!
So without having to take eyes off the road or two hands off the wheel, I push the "open" button on the sunroof, and my drug of choice drops right into the passenger seat.

Listen to Crockett's Message
My Pic
Crockett Dunn

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Saturday, May 24, 2008

Aluminum can crusher, Non-apology # 2, "Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds."

When the first atomic bomb in the history of mankind was dropped from a the Enola Gay to utterly and completely destroy a city and all living things within it, the pilot uttered a quote, "Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds." I would like to think he uttered these words with tears in his eyes, comprehending the full extent of pain and suffering he had unleashed. Unfortunately, it was probably just preplanned quote arranged with some consultation, similar to "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind..."

Anyway, I have an aluminum can crusher featuring a variant of the atomic bomb dropping quote:

Of course, someone pointed out to me that this is totally tasteless and offensive.

No, it is not. I interpret that reaction to mean, "I am not courageous enough to think about troubling issues."

Words are just words. It is the act associated with these words is horribly brutal and offensive.

PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND TRY TO PAY ATTENTION. This t-shirt is meant to be provocative! Wait, haven't we been over this before once already?! (see post from Wednesday, April 23, 2008, entitled, "brunch, bbq, t-shirt non-apology."

Provocation is needed, especially as we enter an era of a nuclear armed world run by kids who did not live through the cold war, while simultaneously paranoid former Soviet, first-strike advocate generals still hold positions of influence.

"Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds."

Friday, May 23, 2008

destructive vs. non-destructive testing: a case study

[2008.06.20] Thanks to mom for the following, enlightening link![/2008.06.20]

As I sit parked on the shoulder awaiting roadside assistance, I am reminded of my days at Duke University studying for my degree in Civil engineering (yeah, the perfect preparation for a career in information technology, right? But that's another story.).

In science (it works), data is obtained by performing experiments. In engineering, these experiments often involve basically testing how strong something is.

Tests can be non-destructive (look what happens when this factor is introduced, and how the material returns to it's original state when the factor is removed), or tests can be destructive (load up the bridge until it collapses, then make note of the load at failure).

What I am getting at is the following:

I did not just accidentally run out of gas. Only a fool would ignore the low fuel indicator light and the gas gage being below the E line!

What I have achieved is the obtainment of valuable experimental data, by means of pseudo-destructive testing. As the photograph indicates,

I now have exact knowledge of the point below the "E" at which the vehicle ceases to run on vapors.

I think Thomas Edison said something like, "there are no failures in experimentation. Only successful tests proving what doesn't work."

Experimental Success!


Friday, May 16, 2008

ooooh, oh..... HOT!HOT!HOT!HOT!HOT!HOT!

For reasons that are unclear to me, the weather in Monterey county as deviated from the standard "perfect" to more of a state of horrendously oppressive heat.

Like the heat they talk about in the Great Gatsby. Heat that cannot be ignored. Heat that makes an ice bath sound good. Heat that drives one to setup his temporary office in the garage. Heat that evidently makes frogs dig holes to hide in.

Heat that makes our next door neighbor's dog-friend Lance cower in a precious spot of shade.